radiantfracture (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
radiantfracture) wrote2024-10-10 10:52 pm
radiantfracture) wrote2024-10-10 10:52 pm
Poem draft: Aurora
Aurora
Night fell.
Half a moon loomed
and shrank.
The stars bloomed
and I was still transfixed
by the thought
that I could never repair
the mistakes of even
this afternoon,
let alone the year.
I would have liked
to throw myself away
and start over.
I stared at my phone
until photographs appeared.
I put on my shoes.
I went outside.
The sky
was dancing.
Night fell.
Half a moon loomed
and shrank.
The stars bloomed
and I was still transfixed
by the thought
that I could never repair
the mistakes of even
this afternoon,
let alone the year.
I would have liked
to throw myself away
and start over.
I stared at my phone
until photographs appeared.
I put on my shoes.
I went outside.
The sky
was dancing.
no subject
Also 'dancing' is a bit of a cliche, I think, and not even true, at least not here. I was actually expecting quicker movement, from all the 'dancing sky' stuff I'd read. At least to my eye (down here around 37°N), it was more of a stately pavane, a slow blooming.
no subject
well, I could certainly steal bloom from earlier in the poem
but the moment was a recognition and realization of dancing specifically
as in oh: that is the dancing
with its attendant massive joy and indifference and wildness
so I'll think about it
"Pavane" is great though -- I hope you use it!