Yet more candles (Jesse's Story)
Nov. 11th, 2021 09:25 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
radiantfractureMy excuse is that mass entertainments have failed me, or something.
I saw The French Dispatch this afternoon on impulse. I didn't like it. I ought to have -- Wes Anderson's films are a very particular taste, but they happen to have a flavour profile that usually works for me. This, though -- I was just bored.
When I walked out of the theatre, the rain that had been gently misting down was now trying to float the cars. By the time I got home, I was soaked. "Now," I said to myself, changing into slippers and a raggedy smoking jacket entirely out at the armpits, "marking, or another solo game of Ten Candles?"
To be fair, there's still time to do some marking.
Anyway, these posts are mostly to show myself that I am in fact doing creative work, if work that it's hard to see the exact purpose for.
Recap of Ten Candles: the game plays out in ten scenes; you make crisis rolls to see if your actions succeed, with a pool of dice that shrinks in each scene; when you fail a roll, the scene ends and you tell Truths to move the story along; also, the world has gone dark and They are coming to get you.
What is known of Them for this game: They are lonely.
The vice and virtue here came fromboxofdelights .
Jesse's Story
Character
Jesse
Pronouns: zie/zir (non-binary amab)
Virtue: Thinks things through
Vice: Vengeful, "really really want[s] to make them understand how wrong they were" (boxofdelights )
Moment: I will find hope when I truly forgive someone
Brink: I have seen you freeze and retreat into fantasy when you most need to fight
Jesse's a self-fashioned vigilante, mostly vandalism, borderline stalking and petty revenge
More or less on the side of justice, sort of, but doesn't listen or co-operate with anyone else's plans
Zie has had to pay fines and do community service, but no jail time
Still, zie did do that fantastic graffiti on the bridge. You remember.
(Not modelled on anyone I've known. Not directly modelled.)
Zie is going to get revenge on Lance, zir friend who ratted zir out to the police.
Inventory
I walk through the stone gate of this exclusive neighborhood. Most of the houses are dark, but one or two are lit up and patrolled by guards and dogs.
I stay far away from those. I'm going to cut through the park, around back of the houses, so I can sneak up behind the place Lance is staying. It's one of the lesser houses of this neighborhood, and I don't think it will be heavily guarded, if at all. It's been converted to a kind of safe house / commune, for those with the right connections. Trust Lance to have those.
I cut into the park.
[Crisis roll to find the path: success]
Using my light sparingly, because it's so obvious in the vast darkness covering the city, I find my way to the path and tread along behind the houses, through the brush.
I hear something.
[Crisis roll: FAIL. I burn my trait "Thinks things through" to re-roll. FAIL again.]
In the path, I see traces of one of Them -- fragments of that woolly stuff They leave behind, Their strange prints of small and large hooves together, bits of fur and hair, gleaming silvery scales. But I have planned ahead.
Not well enough, though.
I have fireworks, which they hate. I pull one out of my bag.
I fumble it and drop it in the path, just as I see shadowy movement ahead of me.
[Wow, failed the first scene on action #2.]
Truths
1. These things are true. the world is dark.
2. This is just a small one of Them.
3. I have outwitted Them before.
4. I barely made it out that time.
5. I have tricks up my sleeve.
6. There is a low track, like an animal path, to my left, that leads towards the back yards.
7. There is a gate in the fence.
8. They have noticed my movement.
9. And I am alive.
Scene Two
I drop low, edging towards the path. They move slowly towards me, but what They've seen is the rolling firework casing, not me. I grab something else form my pack -- a string of firecrackers -- and raise my lighter with a trembling hand.
[Crisis roll: success]
I light the firecrackers and hurl them into the air. They go off -- BANG BANG BANG BANG -- with a little bit of sparking light and smoke. The thing startles away, snuffling and stumbling. I hear Them galloping off down the path on those mismatched hooves. I dive into the brush and begin to crawl along the animal track towards the back fences of the houses.
[ Crisis roll: find the fence - success]
I find the tall wooden fence by feel. Light would keep Them away from me, but would also draw attention to me from the people nearby, and the firecrackers have probably already done enough of that.
Yeah, I hear people in the back yard moving towards the fence, towards me. I don't want to be found, even by friendly people -- they'd still want to know what I'm doing out here. They'd think I was after their shit. You know what rich people are like. Even in the middle of the apocalypse. I hide.
[Crisis roll to hide: success]
Two people cautiously open the gate and call out, sweeping the trees with their flashlights. I stay hidden behind the open gate. After a moment, they shut the gate. I hear them lock it. Dammit. now I can't use that yard to get back to the street.
I feel my way along the fences, searching for another gate or low fence. The trouble is that I have to move in the same direction that They ran if I want to go where Lance is. But I heard Them run pretty far. And I have other defences.
[Crisis roll to find another gate or way in: fail]
I can't find a gate. My frustration and anxiety rise, but I just keep feeling my way along the fence.
Then I hear it, that shuffling snuffling sound, and I smell the ozone.
I'm in the darkness, and one of Them is close by.
Truths
1. These things are true. The world is dark.
2. At first They always seem more curious than threatening.
3. This is both useful and dangerous.
4. I'm behind Lance's house now.
5. If I can get rid of Them, I can climb the fence.
6. I can hear the singing and laughter from the house.
7. It fills me with outrage.
8. And I am alive.
Scene Three
I hold my breath, try to calm my heart, listen. I still don't want to put my light on because it might alert Lance and his friends, but I think I have to. I switch it on.
They are right there.
They have just one body, but two heads, on long furry necks, stretching out of the woods, regarding me almost docilely. They look like an abandoned sewing project, like a rag-bag come to life, with two almost goofy faces, like llamas if llamas had big white eyes with tiny pinprick pupils. I shine Their eyes and They flinch. Their heads withdraw suddenly into the leaves - whoosh. But They're not gone. I can still see Their feet, their big paws flexing mismatched toes. That's a sign They may be going to leap at me.
Here's what I want to do:
Put the flashlight in my mouth to hold Them off, then pull two roman candles out of my pack and light both -- one to throw at Them and one to hold as a weapon in case They rush me. The flicker of my lighter should both fascinate and further repel them.
[Crisis roll: success]
I light two roman candles and clutch one, hurling the other at Them. The candle flips through the air, letting off a pop of green fire, and lands in Their fur. They begin to scream and twist, biting at Their own fur in an effort to get at the fire. Their white eyes ooze dark sticky tears. I smell singed hair. They move raggedly, even more like something sewn together from different parts.
I want to dig the other roman candle into the earth between Them and me and try to scale the fence.
[Crisis roll: success]
I jam the candle into the ground. Pink and white blobs shoot off in arcs, left and right, raining down on Them and me and the forest. I take the biggest leap I can, grab the fence support, and with sheer force of terror throw myself over, landing hard in the grass.
So much for maintaining my cover.
I see two people running towards me across the lawn. I'm winded from the fall. I hear howling and moaning on the other side of the fence.
Flame shimmers, white light blazes. The woman has a lighter and the man has a mag light.
I need a cover story for what I'm doing in this yard.
[Crisis roll: fail]
"I'm a member of the Citizen's Patrol!" I babble. "We were tracking a pack of Them in the woods. My comrades are, uh, presumed dead."
I can see they don't really believe me.
Truths
1. There's a hedge between this yard and the next.
2. I don't recognize these people.
3. I can see Lance standing on a balcony above, facing away from me.
4. I can hear Them scrabbling at the fence.
5. We can all see that there's no time to argue.
6. I will deal with these people in any way I have to. They won't stop me in my vengeance.
7. And I am alive.
Scene Four
"We need to light the torches," says the woman nearest me grimly, not looking at me. She holds her light towards the fence, which is vibrating as They prod and thump at it. They're not hitting it as hard as They can when They really want to -- They're investigating rather than attacking. Investigating can change into attacking pretty quickly, though.
Swiftly, the woman lights a row of white gas torches, each one shaped like a different flower. It gives the yard a weirdly festive air, and also a peasants-kiliing-Frankensten's-monster vibe.
The fence goes still and we can hear Them whining and whimpering.
The woman's face creases. "I hate this part," she says. We all begin to back away, before the Pity affects us.
[Crisis roll to resists Their mind powers: fail]
Between one moment and the next, Their whimpers become as clear to me as speech. I know this is a telepathic attack, but it feels completely seamless. "I'm so lonely," They say, "So lonely. I have no one to tend me and comb the burrs from my hair and ride my back. I want to show you beautiful places. adventures."
"You've confused me with a horse girl," I say grimly, but it's working. I can see visions of dim beautiful fields, feel cool wind play over my face. I begin to move towards the fence, in a trance.
Truths
1. These things are true. The world is dark.
2. There have been rumours of people seen riding Them.
3. However, the only hard evidence I know of demonstrates many people torn apart by Them.
4. The voice is so sad it makes me begin to weep silently.
5. We are all weeping now.
6. And we are alive.
Scene Five
The woman grabs my shoulder, shakes me hard. "You know it's a trap," she says. "Come on." She yanks me back. "Let's get inside and fortify the house. Whoever you are. Citizen's Patrol," she snorts. She's wearing a worn-out sweater and a pair of gumboots. She doesn't look rich. Maybe she was the gardener.
But I know I can' follow her inside, although I'm having trouble remembering why.
Lance. Right. I can't let him see me yet.
But also They are so sad. I want to comfort Them.
I'm pulled in two directions.
[crisis roll: break free of Them and the woman and dive into the hedge to get to the next yard over: success!]
I wrench away from the woman, diving into the hedge. I hit my face on a branch, fall through dazed and cut, but I make it. I trust that these people will not follow me, but fortify their own safety instead.
But goddammit. I've missed my chance to get to Lance, and I almost got taken by Them. Now what?
I think it through. I'll hole up in this house until the crisis has calmed down. Then I'll have another try at finding Lance. I could use a rest anyway, and maybe I can scavenge some food. Okay. I quickly case the house, keeping an eye out for Them and breathing deep in case I scent ozone.
[Crisis roll: fail]
Damn. I can't find a way into the house. I gnash my teeth. I look up and see that one of its upper windows is directly across from a window in Lance's house. Maddening. If I got in here, I could get within fifty feet of Lance, unseen.
I couldn't confront him, it's true, but I could exercise my backup plan.
[I burn my trait Vengeful to re-roll: fail again]
I feel a cold rage overcome me. I will find a way into this house, and I will fucking shoot Lance dead through that window. That will show him.
After ten minutes of faffing around with the side door, all I manage to do is set off the alarm.
I run away.
Truths
1. These things are true. The world is dark.
2. Someone is looking for me.
3. I can smell ozone and see traces of Their passage: glittering scales and tufts of candy-coloured wool.
4. My mind is filled with visions of being a magnificent rider on my patchwork steed.
5. And I am alive.
Scene Six
Four houses further down the arc of the street, I realize that this is a cul-de-sac. Fucking hostile suburban design. If I keep running, this loop will lead me right back to Lance's house. i curse, spinning left, then right. I don't see a way out.
Then I see a figure walking towards me from the other direction. They have a reflective vest and a flashlight and a familiar mess of hair sticking out from under a ball cap. It's Lance.
"Jesus, I thought that was you, Jesse." He shakes his head. "What are you doing here? Come inside quick."
I grope in my bag for my gun. I pull it out and point it at him.
"Jess, fuck, not now," he says, raising his hands.
"You're a fucking snitch," I say. My voice is shakier than I thought it would be.
"Okay," he says. "I guess I am, but how much does that matter now? Come back to the house where it's safer."
"I could have been in jail when the Darkness came. I could have been trapped there."
"But you weren't," he points out, in a maddeningly reasonable voice. "Jesse, it was only a misdemeanor. You weren't going to jail."
"I had priors!"
"Small stuff. I knew you'd be fine." He tries to lower his hands, but I gesture for him to keep them up. My mind is full of paradox, a war of rage and fluffy clouds.
"Fine? Me? In jail? You have no idea what you're talking about."
"I was worried about you. " says Lance. "I thought you were going to get into serious trouble, get hurt or killed. Or," he looks at the gun, "Kill someone else. This was the only way I could think of to get you onto a different path. Scared straight, I guess? It was the wrong decision. I admit that."
[Crisis roll: do I believe him? No.]
"Bullshit," I say. "You were paid off."
Truths
1. These things are true. The world is dark.
2. The smell of ozone is strong now.
3. I can hear shuffling and snuffling.
4. And I am alive.
Scene Seven
I level the gun at his chest.
"Okay," he rushes out, "Say you're right and I'm just a total piece of shit. A traitor, an informant, whatever -- a bad friend." he grimaces. "What does it matter now? We all have to band together against Them."
"How could I possibly trust you again?" I say. I'm having trouble seeing. Why is that? My eyes are watering. Something in the air.
"Jess," he says, with unnatural calm, "You need to look behind you."
"So you can run?" He's backing away. "Stay where you are!"
"Jess, they're coming up behind you. We need to run." He keeps backing away.
I fire.
[Crisis roll: fail]
I miss.
The noise is loud. I can't hear anything for a moment. My ears ring. Then I feel Their breath on my neck. I wheel around. Their white eyes gleam. I hear Lance's feet pounding away behind me.
"Coward," I shout, turning the gun on Them.
Truths
1. These things are true. The world is dark.
2. Lance has gone for help.
3. And I am alive.
Scene Eight
They are right there. More than one. Nearest is the double-headed one that I burnt. Their faces are just a few inches from mine, huffing out oddly sweet breath, fragrant, like hay. Their fur is falling off in places, showing the metal underneath. They shy back a little from my flashlight, but not much. It isn't very bright. They give me that look of mild curiosity, as a sleepy cow might.
I hear Them singing in my mind.
"You are the chosen one, the one who can ride us to glory."
I don't need glory.
"You will be a hero, a conqueror, a warlord."
I don't need any of that.
"An avenger."
Avenger
"Yes, an avenger. You were born to right all the wrongs of the world. You and us, together. You and your gallant steed."
I told you I'm not a horse girl. But I put out my hand and touch Their fur. It is miraculously soft. More of Them are gathering behind, clustering, a herd of comic monsters shambling towards me, shedding bits of themselves as they come. "Come and be our warrior, our avenger," They murmur as They gather around me.
"Jess, Jesus, Jess!" I hear Lance screaming. "Get out of there!" I turn to look at him. He seems like he's a long way away. Other people are running up behind him, carrying torches.
"Come on, Jess," he shouts, "I didn't betray you just so you could go kill yourself!"
[Crisis roll: success]
That snaps me out of it. I turn to see Them opening a goofy mouth to show long needle teeth crammed together in ragged handfuls. I step away, bump the open jaw of another one of Them. I shove the wounded one's rump and run, knocking into Them. I feel Their teeth in my backpack and shuck it off. I am still holding the gun. I turn and fire.
[Crisis roll: success!]
I hit the wounded one and there is a shower of sparks. The herd screams, a horrible metallic sound, and They scatter away from the glowing wound.
Light is like blood to them, terrifying and fascinating, abject -- that which should be kept inside, unseen.
The wounded creature sinks to Their knees. They stare at me mournfully, reproachfully, drooling from Their toothy mouth.
"We would have loved you," They groan to me.
"Everybody's so concerned for my wellbeing," I say. "It's touching. Please die now."
Lance is beside me, waving one of the lawn torches. It is, absurdly, shaped like a tulip.
[I attempt to use my Moment to earn an extra die, the hope die. This means trying to have a moment of forgiveness for Lance]
[Crisis roll: success!]
Lance thrusts the flame at Them. The herd backs away further, whining and cowering, Their white eyes flashing. They are leaving the wounded one between Themselves and us, sacrificing It.
"This is bad," Lance pants. "There are way too many of Them. We need to get back into bright light now." He takes my arm and we back away together.
"They'll go around the other way," I warn him. "They have my -- scent, or my track. My mind's signature. They almost caught me twice. Lance, if you hadn't called to me then --"
"Does that make us even?" he asks grimly.
I shake my head.
The people behind us are holding the line so we can join them. Back to back.
"They're coming around this way," someone shouts.
"Shit." says Lance. "Jess, if you want to make this up we better do it fast."
"Okay." I say, looking everywhere for a path out. "You did an unforgivable thing. You don't deserve forgiveness. And I forgive you."
"You're not just saying that because we're probably about to die?"
"No," I say. It's hard to speak. I feel so distant, like any moment I might detach from the earth and float away. But I need to make him hear this. "I really do forgive you. Forever. Even after this is over and everything is back to normal." I look him in the eyes, once, quickly, so he can see I mean it.
"So you're not going to try to shoot me again?"
"Not unless you piss me off." I level the gun at Them and pull the trigger. "Also I'm out of ammunition."
"I know you always intend to do what's right, Jess," he says. "It's just that you..." His voice trails off. I glance over. He has a faraway look in his eyes. "I'm sorry I let you down..." he starts again. He turns to face Them. They are not looking at me now. They're looking at him. "I can make it up to all of you..."
Now I grab his arm, shake him as hard as I can. His stupid ball cap falls off. "Lance! Fight them!" I slap his face.
I admit that this is satisfying.
[Crisis roll: success on the hope die! Yay hope die!]
He shakes it off. "God, why does it work so well," he says. "Even when you know what it is." We back up fast until we bump into the other line.
"This is really bad," says the person with their back to us, wielding a torch shaped like a daisy.
"How's the house?" Lance asks.
"The good news is we're distracting Them from the house. The bad news is They are really, really into us, and there are a lot of Them."
A figure in pajamas breaks away from the line and starts to walk towards Them. People scream and drag her back, and more of Them creep in from the shadows. Their stupid, curious heads tilt winsomely.
On our side, They hang back with teeth bared, hating the light but hating us almost as much. If the light fails at all, They will attack.
"If I grab my backpack, I can set off the rest of the fireworks at once," I say. "That might scatter them."
"Or it might drive them back towards the house."
"There's no more time. Do you have another plan?"
"No." He says. "Dammit, Jess, now you make suicide seems like the only good idea." He shakes his head. "Do it."
My backpack lies half-open at the feet of the injured one, which is groaning on Its knees and bleeding gouts of light. The rest of Them have abandoned It to us.
[Crisis roll: fail]
I throw myself down and scoop up the bag as It sinks Its teeth into my leg. The pain is incredible. My veins begin to burn.
Truths
1. These things are true. The world is dark.
2. And I am alive.
Scene Nine
That's okay. That's pretty much what I assumed would happen. That was, more or less, the plan.
[Extra candle goes out - skip to scene ten]
Truths
1. And I am alive.
Scene Ten
I throw the bag to Lance. I hope he knows what to do with it.
[Crisis role: success!]
The bag sails through the air and lands in his hands. He dumps out some fireworks and tosses the bag to the person behind him.
"We're going to save you, Jess," he shouts, lighting a roman candle, but of course they are not.
I am slumped against the two-headed creature. It hardly moves; neither do I.
I feel the poison burning in my blood. I can't feel my legs. I take a fistful of Its mane and try to sit up, but I can't do that either.
I bury my face in Its warm soft fur. I feel Its side heaving.
"You've killed me, human," It says.
"You've killed me, too," I say.
I lift my hand away. It's streaked with silvery dust, as though I've brushed a moth's wing. "Tell me a story, monster," I say. "Tell me about how we're going to be heroes together."
It lifts one head and looks up at the extinguished sky.
"There is a field," It says, "where we can run for a thousand years and not get tired. The grass is as high as the sky and tastes of blood and moonlight. The only glow is from the infinite stars, which are the drops of the first creature's blood."
The rest of Them are slinking closer, drawn to the kill, cowering at the shining blood.
"You will ride on my back with your face in my mane, and I will carry you across the galaxy and past its furthest reaches, past the farthest nebulae, into the absolute dark. We will run with perfect freedom. Nothing will burn us or bite us ever again. It will be beautiful."
I feel Their teeth sink into my shoulders, my legs. The poison beats in my blood.
"Yes," I say. "It will be beautiful."
These things are true: the world is dark.
Recorded Statement
It's Jesse. Here it is, Lance. You might think that the darkness changes everything, but some things are still unforgivable. I'm on my way. You be ready for a reckoning.
{rf}
I saw The French Dispatch this afternoon on impulse. I didn't like it. I ought to have -- Wes Anderson's films are a very particular taste, but they happen to have a flavour profile that usually works for me. This, though -- I was just bored.
When I walked out of the theatre, the rain that had been gently misting down was now trying to float the cars. By the time I got home, I was soaked. "Now," I said to myself, changing into slippers and a raggedy smoking jacket entirely out at the armpits, "marking, or another solo game of Ten Candles?"
To be fair, there's still time to do some marking.
Anyway, these posts are mostly to show myself that I am in fact doing creative work, if work that it's hard to see the exact purpose for.
Recap of Ten Candles: the game plays out in ten scenes; you make crisis rolls to see if your actions succeed, with a pool of dice that shrinks in each scene; when you fail a roll, the scene ends and you tell Truths to move the story along; also, the world has gone dark and They are coming to get you.
What is known of Them for this game: They are lonely.
The vice and virtue here came from
boxofdelights .Jesse's Story
Character
Jesse
Pronouns: zie/zir (non-binary amab)
Virtue: Thinks things through
Vice: Vengeful, "really really want[s] to make them understand how wrong they were" (
boxofdelights )Moment: I will find hope when I truly forgive someone
Brink: I have seen you freeze and retreat into fantasy when you most need to fight
Jesse's a self-fashioned vigilante, mostly vandalism, borderline stalking and petty revenge
More or less on the side of justice, sort of, but doesn't listen or co-operate with anyone else's plans
Zie has had to pay fines and do community service, but no jail time
Still, zie did do that fantastic graffiti on the bridge. You remember.
(Not modelled on anyone I've known. Not directly modelled.)
Zie is going to get revenge on Lance, zir friend who ratted zir out to the police.
Inventory
- Backpack
- Flashlight
- Fireworks
- Firecrackers
- Lighters (2)
- Semi-automatic pistol
- Sense of righteous anger
I walk through the stone gate of this exclusive neighborhood. Most of the houses are dark, but one or two are lit up and patrolled by guards and dogs.
I stay far away from those. I'm going to cut through the park, around back of the houses, so I can sneak up behind the place Lance is staying. It's one of the lesser houses of this neighborhood, and I don't think it will be heavily guarded, if at all. It's been converted to a kind of safe house / commune, for those with the right connections. Trust Lance to have those.
I cut into the park.
[Crisis roll to find the path: success]
Using my light sparingly, because it's so obvious in the vast darkness covering the city, I find my way to the path and tread along behind the houses, through the brush.
I hear something.
[Crisis roll: FAIL. I burn my trait "Thinks things through" to re-roll. FAIL again.]
In the path, I see traces of one of Them -- fragments of that woolly stuff They leave behind, Their strange prints of small and large hooves together, bits of fur and hair, gleaming silvery scales. But I have planned ahead.
Not well enough, though.
I have fireworks, which they hate. I pull one out of my bag.
I fumble it and drop it in the path, just as I see shadowy movement ahead of me.
[Wow, failed the first scene on action #2.]
Truths
1. These things are true. the world is dark.
2. This is just a small one of Them.
3. I have outwitted Them before.
4. I barely made it out that time.
5. I have tricks up my sleeve.
6. There is a low track, like an animal path, to my left, that leads towards the back yards.
7. There is a gate in the fence.
8. They have noticed my movement.
9. And I am alive.
Scene Two
I drop low, edging towards the path. They move slowly towards me, but what They've seen is the rolling firework casing, not me. I grab something else form my pack -- a string of firecrackers -- and raise my lighter with a trembling hand.
[Crisis roll: success]
I light the firecrackers and hurl them into the air. They go off -- BANG BANG BANG BANG -- with a little bit of sparking light and smoke. The thing startles away, snuffling and stumbling. I hear Them galloping off down the path on those mismatched hooves. I dive into the brush and begin to crawl along the animal track towards the back fences of the houses.
[ Crisis roll: find the fence - success]
I find the tall wooden fence by feel. Light would keep Them away from me, but would also draw attention to me from the people nearby, and the firecrackers have probably already done enough of that.
Yeah, I hear people in the back yard moving towards the fence, towards me. I don't want to be found, even by friendly people -- they'd still want to know what I'm doing out here. They'd think I was after their shit. You know what rich people are like. Even in the middle of the apocalypse. I hide.
[Crisis roll to hide: success]
Two people cautiously open the gate and call out, sweeping the trees with their flashlights. I stay hidden behind the open gate. After a moment, they shut the gate. I hear them lock it. Dammit. now I can't use that yard to get back to the street.
I feel my way along the fences, searching for another gate or low fence. The trouble is that I have to move in the same direction that They ran if I want to go where Lance is. But I heard Them run pretty far. And I have other defences.
[Crisis roll to find another gate or way in: fail]
I can't find a gate. My frustration and anxiety rise, but I just keep feeling my way along the fence.
Then I hear it, that shuffling snuffling sound, and I smell the ozone.
I'm in the darkness, and one of Them is close by.
Truths
1. These things are true. The world is dark.
2. At first They always seem more curious than threatening.
3. This is both useful and dangerous.
4. I'm behind Lance's house now.
5. If I can get rid of Them, I can climb the fence.
6. I can hear the singing and laughter from the house.
7. It fills me with outrage.
8. And I am alive.
Scene Three
I hold my breath, try to calm my heart, listen. I still don't want to put my light on because it might alert Lance and his friends, but I think I have to. I switch it on.
They are right there.
They have just one body, but two heads, on long furry necks, stretching out of the woods, regarding me almost docilely. They look like an abandoned sewing project, like a rag-bag come to life, with two almost goofy faces, like llamas if llamas had big white eyes with tiny pinprick pupils. I shine Their eyes and They flinch. Their heads withdraw suddenly into the leaves - whoosh. But They're not gone. I can still see Their feet, their big paws flexing mismatched toes. That's a sign They may be going to leap at me.
Here's what I want to do:
Put the flashlight in my mouth to hold Them off, then pull two roman candles out of my pack and light both -- one to throw at Them and one to hold as a weapon in case They rush me. The flicker of my lighter should both fascinate and further repel them.
[Crisis roll: success]
I light two roman candles and clutch one, hurling the other at Them. The candle flips through the air, letting off a pop of green fire, and lands in Their fur. They begin to scream and twist, biting at Their own fur in an effort to get at the fire. Their white eyes ooze dark sticky tears. I smell singed hair. They move raggedly, even more like something sewn together from different parts.
I want to dig the other roman candle into the earth between Them and me and try to scale the fence.
[Crisis roll: success]
I jam the candle into the ground. Pink and white blobs shoot off in arcs, left and right, raining down on Them and me and the forest. I take the biggest leap I can, grab the fence support, and with sheer force of terror throw myself over, landing hard in the grass.
So much for maintaining my cover.
I see two people running towards me across the lawn. I'm winded from the fall. I hear howling and moaning on the other side of the fence.
Flame shimmers, white light blazes. The woman has a lighter and the man has a mag light.
I need a cover story for what I'm doing in this yard.
[Crisis roll: fail]
"I'm a member of the Citizen's Patrol!" I babble. "We were tracking a pack of Them in the woods. My comrades are, uh, presumed dead."
I can see they don't really believe me.
Truths
1. There's a hedge between this yard and the next.
2. I don't recognize these people.
3. I can see Lance standing on a balcony above, facing away from me.
4. I can hear Them scrabbling at the fence.
5. We can all see that there's no time to argue.
6. I will deal with these people in any way I have to. They won't stop me in my vengeance.
7. And I am alive.
Scene Four
"We need to light the torches," says the woman nearest me grimly, not looking at me. She holds her light towards the fence, which is vibrating as They prod and thump at it. They're not hitting it as hard as They can when They really want to -- They're investigating rather than attacking. Investigating can change into attacking pretty quickly, though.
Swiftly, the woman lights a row of white gas torches, each one shaped like a different flower. It gives the yard a weirdly festive air, and also a peasants-kiliing-Frankensten's-monster vibe.
The fence goes still and we can hear Them whining and whimpering.
The woman's face creases. "I hate this part," she says. We all begin to back away, before the Pity affects us.
[Crisis roll to resists Their mind powers: fail]
Between one moment and the next, Their whimpers become as clear to me as speech. I know this is a telepathic attack, but it feels completely seamless. "I'm so lonely," They say, "So lonely. I have no one to tend me and comb the burrs from my hair and ride my back. I want to show you beautiful places. adventures."
"You've confused me with a horse girl," I say grimly, but it's working. I can see visions of dim beautiful fields, feel cool wind play over my face. I begin to move towards the fence, in a trance.
Truths
1. These things are true. The world is dark.
2. There have been rumours of people seen riding Them.
3. However, the only hard evidence I know of demonstrates many people torn apart by Them.
4. The voice is so sad it makes me begin to weep silently.
5. We are all weeping now.
6. And we are alive.
Scene Five
The woman grabs my shoulder, shakes me hard. "You know it's a trap," she says. "Come on." She yanks me back. "Let's get inside and fortify the house. Whoever you are. Citizen's Patrol," she snorts. She's wearing a worn-out sweater and a pair of gumboots. She doesn't look rich. Maybe she was the gardener.
But I know I can' follow her inside, although I'm having trouble remembering why.
Lance. Right. I can't let him see me yet.
But also They are so sad. I want to comfort Them.
I'm pulled in two directions.
[crisis roll: break free of Them and the woman and dive into the hedge to get to the next yard over: success!]
I wrench away from the woman, diving into the hedge. I hit my face on a branch, fall through dazed and cut, but I make it. I trust that these people will not follow me, but fortify their own safety instead.
But goddammit. I've missed my chance to get to Lance, and I almost got taken by Them. Now what?
I think it through. I'll hole up in this house until the crisis has calmed down. Then I'll have another try at finding Lance. I could use a rest anyway, and maybe I can scavenge some food. Okay. I quickly case the house, keeping an eye out for Them and breathing deep in case I scent ozone.
[Crisis roll: fail]
Damn. I can't find a way into the house. I gnash my teeth. I look up and see that one of its upper windows is directly across from a window in Lance's house. Maddening. If I got in here, I could get within fifty feet of Lance, unseen.
I couldn't confront him, it's true, but I could exercise my backup plan.
[I burn my trait Vengeful to re-roll: fail again]
I feel a cold rage overcome me. I will find a way into this house, and I will fucking shoot Lance dead through that window. That will show him.
After ten minutes of faffing around with the side door, all I manage to do is set off the alarm.
I run away.
Truths
1. These things are true. The world is dark.
2. Someone is looking for me.
3. I can smell ozone and see traces of Their passage: glittering scales and tufts of candy-coloured wool.
4. My mind is filled with visions of being a magnificent rider on my patchwork steed.
5. And I am alive.
Scene Six
Four houses further down the arc of the street, I realize that this is a cul-de-sac. Fucking hostile suburban design. If I keep running, this loop will lead me right back to Lance's house. i curse, spinning left, then right. I don't see a way out.
Then I see a figure walking towards me from the other direction. They have a reflective vest and a flashlight and a familiar mess of hair sticking out from under a ball cap. It's Lance.
"Jesus, I thought that was you, Jesse." He shakes his head. "What are you doing here? Come inside quick."
I grope in my bag for my gun. I pull it out and point it at him.
"Jess, fuck, not now," he says, raising his hands.
"You're a fucking snitch," I say. My voice is shakier than I thought it would be.
"Okay," he says. "I guess I am, but how much does that matter now? Come back to the house where it's safer."
"I could have been in jail when the Darkness came. I could have been trapped there."
"But you weren't," he points out, in a maddeningly reasonable voice. "Jesse, it was only a misdemeanor. You weren't going to jail."
"I had priors!"
"Small stuff. I knew you'd be fine." He tries to lower his hands, but I gesture for him to keep them up. My mind is full of paradox, a war of rage and fluffy clouds.
"Fine? Me? In jail? You have no idea what you're talking about."
"I was worried about you. " says Lance. "I thought you were going to get into serious trouble, get hurt or killed. Or," he looks at the gun, "Kill someone else. This was the only way I could think of to get you onto a different path. Scared straight, I guess? It was the wrong decision. I admit that."
[Crisis roll: do I believe him? No.]
"Bullshit," I say. "You were paid off."
Truths
1. These things are true. The world is dark.
2. The smell of ozone is strong now.
3. I can hear shuffling and snuffling.
4. And I am alive.
Scene Seven
I level the gun at his chest.
"Okay," he rushes out, "Say you're right and I'm just a total piece of shit. A traitor, an informant, whatever -- a bad friend." he grimaces. "What does it matter now? We all have to band together against Them."
"How could I possibly trust you again?" I say. I'm having trouble seeing. Why is that? My eyes are watering. Something in the air.
"Jess," he says, with unnatural calm, "You need to look behind you."
"So you can run?" He's backing away. "Stay where you are!"
"Jess, they're coming up behind you. We need to run." He keeps backing away.
I fire.
[Crisis roll: fail]
I miss.
The noise is loud. I can't hear anything for a moment. My ears ring. Then I feel Their breath on my neck. I wheel around. Their white eyes gleam. I hear Lance's feet pounding away behind me.
"Coward," I shout, turning the gun on Them.
Truths
1. These things are true. The world is dark.
2. Lance has gone for help.
3. And I am alive.
Scene Eight
They are right there. More than one. Nearest is the double-headed one that I burnt. Their faces are just a few inches from mine, huffing out oddly sweet breath, fragrant, like hay. Their fur is falling off in places, showing the metal underneath. They shy back a little from my flashlight, but not much. It isn't very bright. They give me that look of mild curiosity, as a sleepy cow might.
I hear Them singing in my mind.
"You are the chosen one, the one who can ride us to glory."
I don't need glory.
"You will be a hero, a conqueror, a warlord."
I don't need any of that.
"An avenger."
Avenger
"Yes, an avenger. You were born to right all the wrongs of the world. You and us, together. You and your gallant steed."
I told you I'm not a horse girl. But I put out my hand and touch Their fur. It is miraculously soft. More of Them are gathering behind, clustering, a herd of comic monsters shambling towards me, shedding bits of themselves as they come. "Come and be our warrior, our avenger," They murmur as They gather around me.
"Jess, Jesus, Jess!" I hear Lance screaming. "Get out of there!" I turn to look at him. He seems like he's a long way away. Other people are running up behind him, carrying torches.
"Come on, Jess," he shouts, "I didn't betray you just so you could go kill yourself!"
[Crisis roll: success]
That snaps me out of it. I turn to see Them opening a goofy mouth to show long needle teeth crammed together in ragged handfuls. I step away, bump the open jaw of another one of Them. I shove the wounded one's rump and run, knocking into Them. I feel Their teeth in my backpack and shuck it off. I am still holding the gun. I turn and fire.
[Crisis roll: success!]
I hit the wounded one and there is a shower of sparks. The herd screams, a horrible metallic sound, and They scatter away from the glowing wound.
Light is like blood to them, terrifying and fascinating, abject -- that which should be kept inside, unseen.
The wounded creature sinks to Their knees. They stare at me mournfully, reproachfully, drooling from Their toothy mouth.
"We would have loved you," They groan to me.
"Everybody's so concerned for my wellbeing," I say. "It's touching. Please die now."
Lance is beside me, waving one of the lawn torches. It is, absurdly, shaped like a tulip.
[I attempt to use my Moment to earn an extra die, the hope die. This means trying to have a moment of forgiveness for Lance]
[Crisis roll: success!]
Lance thrusts the flame at Them. The herd backs away further, whining and cowering, Their white eyes flashing. They are leaving the wounded one between Themselves and us, sacrificing It.
"This is bad," Lance pants. "There are way too many of Them. We need to get back into bright light now." He takes my arm and we back away together.
"They'll go around the other way," I warn him. "They have my -- scent, or my track. My mind's signature. They almost caught me twice. Lance, if you hadn't called to me then --"
"Does that make us even?" he asks grimly.
I shake my head.
The people behind us are holding the line so we can join them. Back to back.
"They're coming around this way," someone shouts.
"Shit." says Lance. "Jess, if you want to make this up we better do it fast."
"Okay." I say, looking everywhere for a path out. "You did an unforgivable thing. You don't deserve forgiveness. And I forgive you."
"You're not just saying that because we're probably about to die?"
"No," I say. It's hard to speak. I feel so distant, like any moment I might detach from the earth and float away. But I need to make him hear this. "I really do forgive you. Forever. Even after this is over and everything is back to normal." I look him in the eyes, once, quickly, so he can see I mean it.
"So you're not going to try to shoot me again?"
"Not unless you piss me off." I level the gun at Them and pull the trigger. "Also I'm out of ammunition."
"I know you always intend to do what's right, Jess," he says. "It's just that you..." His voice trails off. I glance over. He has a faraway look in his eyes. "I'm sorry I let you down..." he starts again. He turns to face Them. They are not looking at me now. They're looking at him. "I can make it up to all of you..."
Now I grab his arm, shake him as hard as I can. His stupid ball cap falls off. "Lance! Fight them!" I slap his face.
I admit that this is satisfying.
[Crisis roll: success on the hope die! Yay hope die!]
He shakes it off. "God, why does it work so well," he says. "Even when you know what it is." We back up fast until we bump into the other line.
"This is really bad," says the person with their back to us, wielding a torch shaped like a daisy.
"How's the house?" Lance asks.
"The good news is we're distracting Them from the house. The bad news is They are really, really into us, and there are a lot of Them."
A figure in pajamas breaks away from the line and starts to walk towards Them. People scream and drag her back, and more of Them creep in from the shadows. Their stupid, curious heads tilt winsomely.
On our side, They hang back with teeth bared, hating the light but hating us almost as much. If the light fails at all, They will attack.
"If I grab my backpack, I can set off the rest of the fireworks at once," I say. "That might scatter them."
"Or it might drive them back towards the house."
"There's no more time. Do you have another plan?"
"No." He says. "Dammit, Jess, now you make suicide seems like the only good idea." He shakes his head. "Do it."
My backpack lies half-open at the feet of the injured one, which is groaning on Its knees and bleeding gouts of light. The rest of Them have abandoned It to us.
[Crisis roll: fail]
I throw myself down and scoop up the bag as It sinks Its teeth into my leg. The pain is incredible. My veins begin to burn.
Truths
1. These things are true. The world is dark.
2. And I am alive.
Scene Nine
That's okay. That's pretty much what I assumed would happen. That was, more or less, the plan.
[Extra candle goes out - skip to scene ten]
Truths
1. And I am alive.
Scene Ten
I throw the bag to Lance. I hope he knows what to do with it.
[Crisis role: success!]
The bag sails through the air and lands in his hands. He dumps out some fireworks and tosses the bag to the person behind him.
"We're going to save you, Jess," he shouts, lighting a roman candle, but of course they are not.
I am slumped against the two-headed creature. It hardly moves; neither do I.
I feel the poison burning in my blood. I can't feel my legs. I take a fistful of Its mane and try to sit up, but I can't do that either.
I bury my face in Its warm soft fur. I feel Its side heaving.
"You've killed me, human," It says.
"You've killed me, too," I say.
I lift my hand away. It's streaked with silvery dust, as though I've brushed a moth's wing. "Tell me a story, monster," I say. "Tell me about how we're going to be heroes together."
It lifts one head and looks up at the extinguished sky.
"There is a field," It says, "where we can run for a thousand years and not get tired. The grass is as high as the sky and tastes of blood and moonlight. The only glow is from the infinite stars, which are the drops of the first creature's blood."
The rest of Them are slinking closer, drawn to the kill, cowering at the shining blood.
"You will ride on my back with your face in my mane, and I will carry you across the galaxy and past its furthest reaches, past the farthest nebulae, into the absolute dark. We will run with perfect freedom. Nothing will burn us or bite us ever again. It will be beautiful."
I feel Their teeth sink into my shoulders, my legs. The poison beats in my blood.
"Yes," I say. "It will be beautiful."
These things are true: the world is dark.
Recorded Statement
It's Jesse. Here it is, Lance. You might think that the darkness changes everything, but some things are still unforgivable. I'm on my way. You be ready for a reckoning.
{rf}
