First Drafts at Quitterbread Bars (Mostly Nonsense)

[radiantfracture]

This is a continuation of the experiment in trying to bake treats invented by The AI Weirdness neural net. (Scroll down to cookies post.)

I made two versions, incorporating various perspectives on the notion, including my own preoccupation with yeast and sazerac's suggestion about shortbread and marmalade.



It's all a little rustic and perhaps slightly reminiscent of Mendl's confections in The Grand Budapest Hotel.

Draft 1: A Loaf of Quitterbread

This is the big loaf in the photo (since cut into slices)

-Yeast-based nutmeg-flavoured coffee cake recipe from Le Internet
-Orange glaze


I liked this. It had the nice median feel between bread and cake that seemed important for quitterbread.

I do not think I raised my yeast quite right, and the recipe seemed to call for about twice as much flour as was necessary. The result is thus quite dense, but I like dense cake.

I looked at various recipes, including Ghanian butter bread, whence I got the nutmeg.

I think I'll make another draft of this with more spices and more upstanding yeast.

Pro: Definitely gives the sense that I started making bread and then quit
Con: These are clearly slices and not bars.

Can I just layer the slices? I feel like the grain would be going the wrong way or something.

Draft 2: Quitter(short)bread Sandwich Bars

These are the little square things. This is layers of the family shortbread recipe with apricot jam-orange buttercream icing in between the layers, to imitate the picture a little:



There wasn't very much jam (it was a tiny sample jar, not the gift jam) -- hence adding the orange.

I got worried that they weren't fancy enough, so I melted some chocolate and mixed it with pecans and draped that over some of them. Then I realized that I'd forgotten to sweeten the chocolate. However, the layers under the chocolate are so sweet that it doesn't actually matter.

Pro: I mean, shortbread.
Con: These are more bar-y, but still not very bar-y.

What makes a bar a bar?

sazerac's actual suggestion involved jam and royal icing, and that would be more bar-ish. I just didn't have enough experimental jam in the moment. I now have many, many egg whites, so I could definitely try that.

Maybe I want a layer of shortbread, then jam, then cake, then icing...

And other important issues -- sorry. I'm just enjoying fussing about something totally frivolous and low-pressure creative.

{rf}

Comments

[sovay]

-Yeast-based nutmeg-flavoured coffee cake recipe from Le Internet

Is this a cake with coffee in it or a cake you eat with cofffee?

What makes a bar a bar?

I always assumed it was literally just the shape. Like, brownie bars don't have layers, they just have rectangularity.

[radiantfracture]

Is this a cake with coffee in it or a cake you eat with coffee?

I used to wonder that too, but it's just a cake, usually made with yeast, that you eat with coffee.

brownie bars don't have layers, they just have rectangularity.

Excellent.

...But then if I cut cake into squares it's still cake, isn't it? Do materials override format in some instances?

[sovay]

...But then if I cut cake into squares it's still cake, isn't it? Do materials override format in some instances?

But I've seen cake bars. The base material is usually something like carrot or red velvet cake, but that's still cake as we understand the term. I think the format may be winning.

[elusis]

"Bars" are about density. Lemon bars, brownie bars, etc. - dense enough to hold together and provide some resistance.

[mrissa]

As a Minnesotan, I come from the center of "bars" as a term, and here is the definition we have:

A dessert cooked all in one plain pan (i.e. not as individual cookies or muffin cups) that is meant to be edible without utensils.

You generally want a fork for cake.

Some bars have layers, such as 7-Layer Bars and Hello Dolly Bars. This is fine as long as the basic thing is something you're supposed to be able to pick up with your fingers or in a napkin and just eat.

[hlagol]

I love the textual description of what a bread-that-has-given-up would be like. Has me quite wanting to try something similar, actually! I tend to shy away from yeast as I am Very Mediocre at bread.

And that glaze. Must do some holiday baking this weekend.

"I mean, shortbread" is a perfect summation of a perfect food (though I too am not into the oversweet and tend to prefer the normal thing to, say, millionaires)

Baked good taxonomies sound like a fun way to waste a few hours. And get hungry.

[hlagol]

Maybe I'll have a go at "Lord's Crunch"

[radiantfracture]

I didn't see those ones! Are they pies?

(looks up post)

Mm, bustard chiffon pie.

[radiantfracture]

"Fail Crunch Pie Crust" sounds like a thing I would make.

[hlagol]

"Fail Crunch Pie Crust" is me whenever I try to do some sort of wheat-free graham crust for friends.

[hlagol]

Bustard = broken custard? so easy to do! :D

[elusis]

I mean, if you like scrambled eggs in your pie, have at it...

[radiantfracture]

I made orange curd yesterday, and I think I accidentally cooked my eggs with the orange juice.

[elusis]

Indeed. Do you have experience with tempering eggs, or was this your first time with it?

[radiantfracture]

As I don't precisely know what tempering eggs means, I'm going to say it's my first time. (I feel like I made curd once before, but maybe I just thought about it.) Do you have any tips?

[elusis]

Ah, there's the problem then. In order to make a custard (curd, etc.) you have to fold eggs into some kind of hot liquid. But if you just put them straight in, you'll have scrambled eggs. So you have to temper them, or slowly bring them to temperature. Basically you put your eggs in a separate bowl, whisk them, and then slowly add bits of the hot liquid to the eggs while whisking vigorously, until they slowly come up to a similar temperature as the liquid. More info here:

https://www.seriouseats.com/2018/03/tempering-eggs-why-when-and-how-to-do-it.html

Hence my comment on "broken custard" - if you don't temper the eggs while making custard, you'll basically have chunky egg bits in your sweet milk etc. and it's deeply unpleasant.

[radiantfracture]

What would go into Lord's Crunch? I'm thinking Skor bits.

[hlagol]

mmmm, toffee.

part of me was also thinking a panko-breadcrumb topped savory pie, but it's hard to imagine a savory thing that is crunchy-in-a-good-way after a stint in the oven. Water Chesnut?

Crickets, of course!

[ng_moonmoth]

Think sports.

Re: Crickets, of course!

[radiantfracture]

HA.

V. good. And a hot new source of protein, too.

[sabotabby]

This sounds good. I like coffee and nutmeg. Once the rush of holiday baking is over, I think my next baking project is going to be bread.

[monanotlisa]

But food is never frivolous! :)