Further Random Poetry: Abū Nuwās, "Cheetah"

[radiantfracture]

Of the three poems J.E. Montgomery translates in his article "Horse, Hawk and Cheetah: 3 Arabic Hunting Poems of Abū Nuwās," I think I like "Cheetah" the best, although I arrived there looking for hawks.


Cheetah

I move through black cloud night—
Dark, at war with Dawn,
Quivers with a fine blade’s sheen—
With a vigorous, widejaw cheetah
Thickneck, spine-welded-scapulae
Leanbelly in taut-twist well-rope body
Cheek-folds plump in a scowl,
Sheeny; black teardrops on masseters
Bactrian lungs in saffron ribcage
Heavy paws, bull neck, sudden dart
A lion but for the spotty coat
Alert for shapes that shift.

A long search sights two herds
On ground flat as a man’s brow
He’s off, a slow stalk,
A trap about to explode
Puff adder slither
Through ground high and low
Face to face with his prey now—
Havoc! He scatters them across the desert
Full stretch, full pelt
Greedy fury.

Why hunt with any creature but a cheetah?

* * * * * *

Montgomery notes that "Hunting with cheetahs was an elite pastime."

This translation, while necessarily free, seems to me to have the most energy of the three hunting poems.

Note that the original poem, which is given in the Arabic in the article, would have had short regular lines and a strong monorhyme (every line ending on the same sound, such as run/fun/sun). This is a much more modernist, playful, word-coining version, which I like -- but I would like to compare it to both a literal and a rhymed translation, to triangulate some imagined ideal.

{rf}

Comments

[sovay]

This is a much more modernist, playful, word-coining version, which I like -- but I would like to compare it to both a literal and a rhymed translation, to triangulate some imagined ideal.

This one looks more literal, although not rhyming. I like the explosive impressionism of the translation you share. (I must now leave this conversation to feed a plangent small panther of our own house.)

[radiantfracture]

Thank you! I like it, and the differences create some useful friction.