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radiantfracture: Beadwork bunny head (Default)
radiantfracture

May 2025

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radiantfracture: Beadwork bunny head (Default)
Thank you for the reading-while-busy book suggestions. A steady pile of library books is accumulating on the living-room table. This phase of book-borrowing always feels so purposeful, unlike the lamentable scramble to get them all back in.

I have begun trying to sort out the Beautiful Shed for the winter -- I reorganized the back hall and office area (which is just the triangular space under the staircase, but it serves) and set up a shelf for the books I teach from / with / about (I ought to have one on prepositions) -- some on Fantastic Beasts, a few on composition, but most for Indigenous Literatures and Oratures.

There's much more to do, but the open surface of the desk feels expansive, and the shelf of books purposeful.

I moved all my children's / YA books back upstairs into the loft; that leaves about fifty books on the stairs still uncatalogued -- mostly short stories, which need to be incorporated into the fiction section. They had their own section for a while, but this became impracticable.

As I was moving the YA books, I discovered a forgotten copy of Jacob Have I Loved, so naturally I immediately sat down and started to read it.

For me and for my friend J., Jacob was a touchstone in the struggle towards maturity (ETA: which is to say, well into our late 20s). For a long time when I was young, I only thought about how unfair Louise's life was. I identified with the early part of her narrative perspective, and felt like she was cheated.

Now the book feels like such a generous offering, this story about how if you don't get what you want, if you don't feel like the one chosen for love and attention, you can still make a beautiful and purposeful life -- often a better one than your first limited expectations would have allowed for.

I feel that, certainly.

I think partly this was lost on me when I was younger because the grown-up bit of Louise's life is telescoped into the last chapter of the book (which makes sense for a YA novel, but doesn't allow time for my young self, a thinker in absolutes, to contemplate why this, too, might be a good life.)

But what I really came here to point out was this:

"What time's the ferry due?"
"The same time as always, Grandma." I wished only to be left to my book, which was a deliciously scary one about some children who had been captured by a bunch of pirates in the West Indies. It was my mother's. All of the books were hers except the extra Bibles. (41)

Surely Louise is reading A High Wind in Jamaica.

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radiantfracture: Beadwork bunny head (Default)
The Beautiful Shed is hard to heat. It was, after all, born a garage, or possibly a barn (I'm not sure how old the main house is -- pre-1925, anyway, but the shed could have been built later).

The insulation is of that peculiar kind that amplifies heat in summer and collects and stores icy air in winter.

These vintage honey-brown carriage-house doors (points grandly) were made to keep horses and cars contained, and only nominally to exclude the weather. I have stopped up the gap with a draught-roll, a knotted-up jacket, and numerous unwanted volumes of Samuel Richardson. The pinhole that allows a Borrower-sized search beam through one door I have blocked with washi tape.

For many years the landlords included the hydro (that is, the power) with the rent (which itself is generously low). They also hadn't raised that rent in the eight years I've been here. This summer they did raise the rent (but very little) and also began charging for hydro. This all seemed perfectly reasonable. My total cost increase was about 7.5%: 3% for the rent increase and 4.5% for the hydro.

Then, at the end of November, my landlord sheepishly presented me with a doubled power bill and an offer to instruct me in the use of the thermostat.

I could explain to him that I set the thermostat where it is for a reason: if the Beautiful Shed isn't kept at a reasonable minimum temperature, it doesn't heat up at all, or not for many hours.

I could ask him to add some weatherproofing over the scenic gaps around the doors.

The only thing that stops me from taking these sensible steps is that I didn't do any of these things while he was paying for the heat, and now it seems... unsporting?

Still, my landlord clearly felt that the rate was excessive, and so now I feel obligated to take steps to reduce my costs to spare him embarrassment.

I have therefore stepped down both the low and the high temperature settings on the thermostat. This means that the shed is never entirely comfortable, but it does provide opportunities to wear my new onesies (a. moose b. bat).

Someone gave me a weatherproofing kit, so I could choose to stick up plastic sheeting inside all of my (single-pane) windows (though not the skylights). But then I would have plastic sheeting stuck in all of my windows. It seems almost worth the monthly fee just not to have to look at that. This is, of course, the sort of poor decision-making that results in empty savings accounts (mine).

It isn't that I have some infinite wellspring of hydro payments: what I have is extremely finite mental energy for focusing on money -- partly temperament, partly the bad years when thinking about it just made it more depressing. I need to become the sort of person that is responsible about these things, if I want to become the sort of person who can heat a house in old age, but it is sometimes a mortifyingly slow process.

Mind, sealing the windows wouldn't fix the knee-high miasma of cold air that drifts constantly from the corner cupboard, which I suspect has some kind of direct channel to the outside world, or possibly Antarctica, though I've never climbed in far enough to be sure. I use it to chill drinks all the time.

Maybe the answer, for the winter months at least, is to find some heavy curtains from the thrift store. I don't like shutting out the sunlight, but how much of that is there right now anyway? I have one circa 1970s royal purple velvet curtain (formerly of my parents' bedroom) that does very well for half of the front doors. I wonder if I can find it a mate.

{rf}
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